This post really speaks to me. I have suffered with Social phobia my entire life, and this is exactly how it is. It’s such a difficult thing to have to deal with, mostly because your fears seem irregular to the “average” or “regular” person. I don’t blame them for it either, these are things they do every day of their life, it’s like breathing almost to them I suppose. But the worst is that it goes unrecognized for so many people. It bothers me so much when people say things like “Oh, You’re just Shy.” “It’s not that hard, Everybody does it.” There is a difference between feeling shy, and being utterly terrified to do things you might classify as simple. It was very difficult for me to go to school because of my fears. I feared being spoken to, or called on. Walking into a classroom and choosing where to sit was my worst nightmare. Instead, I would rather stay at home and receive no marks for the day as apposed to succeeding. Still, being at home alone was also difficult. What if somebody came to the door? I would sit in the hallway away from the doors and windows and wait for them to leave. When the phone would ring, I couldn’t answer it. It was too difficult for me. And the worst is that, nobody understands. They really don’t. Like I said, you can’t blame them much, you can only inform them. When people without social phobia think of fear, they probably think of their own fears, heights, planes, perhaps death. Sometimes they don’t really look around and think about the little things, like how a child is afraid of monsters under their bed. The bad part for me is, I wasn’t diagnosed with my anxiety disorder until only two years ago. After the anxiety had already torn me apart. I have dropped out of school, And I will never go to college. I was fortunate enough to have some talent and become a cosmetologist. I have lost several friends, because I became too distant from them. The relationship with my parents became very difficult, and it still is, I’m afraid there is permanent damage Social anxiety has caused between me and my mother, and it breaks my heart. I’m still afraid to meet people, and I’d still rather be alone sometimes. I’m mad at myself for it, and sometimes other people, and I know it’s wrong. I just can’t help but think sometimes that if my social anxiety hadn’t gone unnoticed it could have been fixed before it screwed with my entire life. I still have yet to overcome it, but in some senses it’s too late. My point is here; Is that please think twice by assuming shyness over fear.
Tumblr is and will always be the most accurate shit ever..